This past week has been taxing in my personal life after receiving sad news within my family. It's never easy being away from home, but even more so when under 'normal' circumstances you would be able to return home and give them all a big hug. I've been thinking about family constantly and thought that this week's entry on The Scuba Diaries should be about diving with family!
I'm going to share my experiences of leading my Dad on fun dives, helping my Mum become more comfortable in the water and being my brother's certifying instructor for his PADI Divemaster course!
My parents came to visit me on Utila in November 2016, just months after I started working as a Divemaster at the Bay Islands college of Diving. I was so excited to introduce them to my new world, new dive family, friends and little island home. I was also proud of them already for making the lengthy trip out to see me and visit a country that they had prior concerns about back when I first came over.
Dad was already an advanced open water diver, but although Mum shares my love for marine animals and the ocean, she wasn't interested in getting certified. I was looking forward to getting her more comfortable being in deeper water and taking her snorkelling.
Of course, as luck would have it, the two weeks that my parents visited just so happened to line up with the start of rainy reason, meaning it rained solidly for their entire trip - not too dissimilar to back home in England! I still managed to go diving with my Dad, though all the marine life I was hoping to show him (eagle rays, turtles, nurse sharks) seemed to be in hiding. The heavy rain also disturbed the visibility which made it unappealing for Mum to try snorkelling in the shallows and our surface intervals between dives were cold and quite miserable. Nevertheless, they were just happy to see where I had been living and to meet everyone from my stories, finally able to put their names to a face. They also enjoyed seeing me passionate about my work, whether it be loading tanks on the boat or briefing my divers.
[Playing beer pong with Dad (he later won the entire tournament), kayaking, diving and watching the only decent sunset we had during their time on Utila]
Leading my Dad on fun dives was such a different experience than I'd had with any other diver. I felt so lucky to be able to show him my underwater world, as if we were speaking a new language together. But it also felt weird, that for the first time in my life I was the responsible one, I was the one literally leading the way and who knew more about the task at hand. Looking back and checking he was ok, it was odd watching my Dad not be an expert at something, figuring out his buoyancy and keeping a close eye on his air consumption.
Due to the bad weather, for the majority of our dives we stayed close and explored Utila's nearby dive sites, until one day we finally got to venture out further to the north side of the island where I was hoping to show my Dad the more dramatic and impressive sites. On that day we moored up to The Maze, one of my favourites! After our decent to around 15m/ 50ft, I wanted to show my Dad the resident green moray eel who liked to hang out by the opening of a small cave, but there was a problem. I could see my Dad shaking his LPI and pressing the button repeatedly, to which I quickly noticed that his LPI button was sticking. This of course can be a serious issue, leading to a runaway ascent which from our depth could lead to decompression illness. Dad reacted quickly by disconnecting his LPI whilst I pulled his BCD's dump valve. He was fine, but understandably wanted to return to the boat to switch out his gear for another LPI hose instead of continuing the dive using the oral inflator. It was of course the safest decision, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed that our dive time would be cut in half and I wouldn't be able to show him the full dive site along with the critters who lived there. I was proud of Dad's response time to the incident, but could tell it had startled him (after all it could have been a lot worse!). Again, it was a peculiar feeling that I was helping Dad and reassuring him, when that had always been his role. In the end, we were able to explore the shallows so Dad could see the 'maze' reef formation and some beautiful schools of creole wrasse, blue tang and blue chromis.
The next time my parents visited was exactly three years later, November 2019, and this time the weather behaved! My brother James was also travelling through South America and lined up his plans to meet us on Utila just days after Mum and Dad arrived. We had the best time together! Whilst Dad, James and I dived right in to their refresher course and logging fun dives, Mum got stuck in with helping the local community through joining WSORC on beach cleans, volunteering her time at Jasper's Animal Shelter and even joining us on snorkel excursions - which she was incredible at! Mum was much more comfortable in water which she could see the bottom, especially as the visibility was perfect, warm and there was an abundance of tropical fish. Utila's fringing reef is definitely the ideal location for those who aren't a fan of deep water and severe drop offs.
[So many activities! Treetanic mosaics, beach clean, refresher course, diving, lionfish dissections, puppies at the animal shelter]
Though Mum and Dad returned to the UK, James decided to stay on to do his Divemaster training, meaning I would be his instructor! This was definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, to teach and certify my big bro - what a privilege. Different to their last visit, this time my parents were able to see me in action as manager of WSORC as well as teaching the Divemaster program. This meant they were able to recognise the hard work that went into my six (sometimes seven!) day work week, and though they received idyllic pictures at home, they got to see behind the scenes and witness first hand all the work (and tears and stress) involved in my job. Simply put, I think they understood that this was actually my career and they respected me for what I was doing. There's no better feeling as a child, when your parents not only accept but are also proud of the path you've chosen to take in life.
Now I got to take my brother through his Divemaster program! I couldn't ask for a better relationship with my brother, James is kind, generous and very protective of me. I didn't worry for a second that he would party too hard on Utila and miss workshops or cause drama within the group of interns. He's an extremely respectful person and I'm sure he felt a bit of pressure to perform so it would reflect positively on me (though I never expected that of him!!). This was my first experience instructing a family member so I wasn't sure if my teaching method would change. Would I go all soft and favour him over other interns, or would I be extra critical and harsh to try and not appear biased? Turns out: neither. My style didn't change, and I have James to thank for that as he made sure it didn't have to. He always came prepared to every workshop and never played the family card - we just had a lot of fun together and I definitely laughed more and relaxed whenever we got to work one on one, outside of a group setting.
[James and I on Utila!]
I'm so grateful for the opportunity to dive with my family, that they were able to visit me on my island home and see me working my dream job. I can certainly understand why teaching family can be a challenge, but I guess I am lucky that mine are very understanding and respectful of what I do! As the youngest in the family, though it felt odd to be instructing my Dad and brother, correcting and assisting them with issues, it also gave me a sense of worth and validation. Diving is my 'thing' and I'm good at what I do!
I know my family wishes I was closer to home and that we were able to see each other more often (I miss them more than ever!), but I do find comfort in them being happy for me chasing my goals.
Share with me your experiences of teaching family and if you agree with my personal account, I'd love to know!
Safe diving & happy dreaming,
A.
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